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Another person drowned. Not in my life, no. But the news got me anyway. Another woman watched her love die, thinking he was fine. Another woman was doing something they had done a million times before, not giving it a second thought. It all seemed normal, except that he was dying and she didn't know. I didn't know. Neither of us had any reason to even think it. It is inconceivable that someone so experienced would be in any danger at all.
And it smashes me so hard, brings it all slamming back to me. Maybe even more because I have been there not realizing what was happening, been there looking for help when it is too late. I have been there. And it's my reaction I can tell here; her story isn't mine to share. I'm both surprised and not surprised by how it knocks the wind out of me. I know I am helpless in the face of it, both for her and for me. All I can do is send love, to her now, to me then. And even that hurts a f-load to do.
Man.
...
(((hugs))) Those reminders that come out of nowhere are like a punch in the gut every time.
ReplyDeleteAlthough not the same, I have a somewhat similar reaction to news of almost anyone's cancer dagnosis, especially if it is for some advanced stage with a poor prognosis. There is this immediate feeling of mourning for the person or couple because I know so well what lies ahead. I would not wish it on anyone. In any case, sometimesI start to believe that maybe the battle scars are healing, but it takes very little to tear them open once more. I think it will be like that for all of us, but maybe we will learn to make an uneasy peace with it in time (a long time!).
ReplyDeleteyou are in my thoughts. i understand this sudden rush of pain and recognition. i wish you peace.
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ugh...all I can do is send you love! *
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ReplyDelete(Been thinking about you a lot this week)
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