Friday, February 25, 2011

snow

It's snowing again. It's pretty. I am glad I can still see pretty.
It was heart rock heaven at the beach yesterday. Which is good,
because it was hell in me, at the time. Heart rocks are not a fair trade.
They do not make up for this at all. But still. Many, many heart rocks,
big ones, perfect ones, are still pretty neat. I left a pile of some of the best
ones for someone else to find, someone who needs them.

Today is a day of making marmalade, and setting creamed honey. Though my love,
and the ever-hungry kid, are no longer here to eat, I can't seem to stop cooking.
I made sourdough blackberry pancakes to feed the birds. The backlog of goat cheese
will likely feed the chickens. As will the lettuce. And the chard. And all the things
I find myself buying, as though I still believe you're home, and will be hungry, and
I get to feed you. Feed us. Together.

Heart rocks don't eat much.

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9 comments:

  1. It's good to be able to see the beauty in things,
    almost in spite of how we feel.
    Chickens do love goat cheese. Avian nirvana.
    I still overstock the refrigerator. I don't really know why. The one good thing is that I have been cooking for a couple of friends. Good thing as it helps to absorb the overflow. Cooking is what I do. One of the things, that is. Not sure why. Perhaps you've nailed the reason. To feed us. Together.

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  2. ah, bev, perhaps we are twins. Cooking is what I do.

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  3. One other good thing is that I make all of the food for my dogs. They don't do well on commercial dog food, so I make people food for them. It's nice to cook for someone (somedogs?) that appreciate my efforts.

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  4. Cooking is what I *used* to do. It is my old life. It is very weird to not do it now, to not care, to never want to eat, to not plan out cozy suppers for our little family. I am only just now pulling out of the 40 # loss from never wanting to eat for all those months of illness and death. If things are bad, I just will not eat. Whole life long, if under stress, I cut the variables, and one variable is food.

    Midwinter must call forth blackberries, though. I just made an apple blackberry crumble that was pretty tasty. Jeff would have had that sucker gone in a day. I ate it for breakfast and midnight snacks for a week, and gave a big chunk to a friend who is having a rough week.

    "I'm glad I can still see pretty". Nice.

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  5. here's one I left for you to find ...

    http://ummuiman.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/hard-hearts.jpg

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  6. thanks boo. I need to figure out how to transfer photos from phone to computer...

    C - blackberries from your back 40 out there.

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  7. Yeah, dogs always appreciate what you cook for them. I took a joint of pork out of the freezer last weekend - it sat in the fridge for most of the week, then I boiled it up for the dog. I just couldn't face it. Moose is very happy though!

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  8. I have pork and ham in the deep freeze from our last pig share. The ground pork has gone off, but the ham...? Matt was the one who made safe-to-eat distinctions, as I am relatively new to the world of meat eating. What would I do with a giant ham anyway. Feed birds and dog.

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  9. The heart rock pile sounds beautiful.
    and beautiful is good.
    Hugs

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