Friday, February 25, 2011


It's snowing again. It's pretty. I am glad I can still see pretty.
It was heart rock heaven at the beach yesterday. Which is good,
because it was hell in me, at the time. Heart rocks are not a fair trade.
They do not make up for this at all. But still. Many, many heart rocks,
big ones, perfect ones, are still pretty neat. I left a pile of some of the best
ones for someone else to find, someone who needs them.

Today is a day of making marmalade, and setting creamed honey. Though my love,
and the ever-hungry kid, are no longer here to eat, I can't seem to stop cooking.
I made sourdough blackberry pancakes to feed the birds. The backlog of goat cheese
will likely feed the chickens. As will the lettuce. And the chard. And all the things
I find myself buying, as though I still believe you're home, and will be hungry, and
I get to feed you. Feed us. Together.

Heart rocks don't eat much.



  1. It's good to be able to see the beauty in things,
    almost in spite of how we feel.
    Chickens do love goat cheese. Avian nirvana.
    I still overstock the refrigerator. I don't really know why. The one good thing is that I have been cooking for a couple of friends. Good thing as it helps to absorb the overflow. Cooking is what I do. One of the things, that is. Not sure why. Perhaps you've nailed the reason. To feed us. Together.

  2. ah, bev, perhaps we are twins. Cooking is what I do.

  3. One other good thing is that I make all of the food for my dogs. They don't do well on commercial dog food, so I make people food for them. It's nice to cook for someone (somedogs?) that appreciate my efforts.

  4. Cooking is what I *used* to do. It is my old life. It is very weird to not do it now, to not care, to never want to eat, to not plan out cozy suppers for our little family. I am only just now pulling out of the 40 # loss from never wanting to eat for all those months of illness and death. If things are bad, I just will not eat. Whole life long, if under stress, I cut the variables, and one variable is food.

    Midwinter must call forth blackberries, though. I just made an apple blackberry crumble that was pretty tasty. Jeff would have had that sucker gone in a day. I ate it for breakfast and midnight snacks for a week, and gave a big chunk to a friend who is having a rough week.

    "I'm glad I can still see pretty". Nice.

  5. here's one I left for you to find ...

  6. thanks boo. I need to figure out how to transfer photos from phone to computer...

    C - blackberries from your back 40 out there.

  7. Yeah, dogs always appreciate what you cook for them. I took a joint of pork out of the freezer last weekend - it sat in the fridge for most of the week, then I boiled it up for the dog. I just couldn't face it. Moose is very happy though!

  8. I have pork and ham in the deep freeze from our last pig share. The ground pork has gone off, but the ham...? Matt was the one who made safe-to-eat distinctions, as I am relatively new to the world of meat eating. What would I do with a giant ham anyway. Feed birds and dog.

  9. The heart rock pile sounds beautiful.
    and beautiful is good.