Then he asked, "would you like some company? Would you like to talk a bit?" And I was cracking up inside, this inside joke between matt and I in that moment. I crouched down next to the guy, and he said: "What is love?" Seriously. I told him I had no answer to that. He then went on for a very long time about love, mostly giving examples of what it isn't, trying to teach about what love really is. He did have a couple of good things to say, hidden in there. The whole time, I am having a conversation with matt about how odd this is, watching our dog swim, waiting for this kid to get to his point. His whole - speech - really had nothing to do with love as I know it, and I kept waiting for him to notice he wasn't exactly reaching his audience! I know he meant it all to connect with god and truth and all, but his message got a little lost. He was enthusiastic, and I'm a good listener, so he went on. Anyway. I was getting both bored and restless, and so was boris - used to having my undivided attention, and not getting it.
I stood up. The young man stood up, and said, "so are you married?" I told him. He barely touched my shoulder - and didn't say anything. He wasn't uncomfortable, just quiet. Then he spoke a little bit about being in Iraq, and what he had seen. Then, he touched my arm again to turn me towards him, and gave me this fierce, incredible hug. Calm, strong, completely rooted, solid. Holy cow. In that moment, I just felt how fiercely matt would hold on to me, how solid, in those beautiful, powerful arms. How fiercely he would hold on to me RIGHT NOW if he could. And I was laughing and crying (inside myself, not on this stranger) and saying to matt - "you found a way, didn't you. You found a way, this morning, to hold on to me." The kid would NOT let go. I went to shift away, and he held on, and said, "I will stand here as long as you need." Oh my god, how much I wanted to stay there, to pretend it was him, to be held on to.
However, boris does not stand around, and the kid is not matt. I let go. The kid started talking about war again, said just a little about god, and about jesus, quoting one of my favorite bible passages (disclaimer - one of the few I actually know). Nice. Precise stuff, this. Anyway, I also had a pretty good guess by now the kid was also hitting on me, but what the heck. He offered to walk with us on our morning loop around the parking lot, and his hitting on got more clear. Like the "long con" - working up to it. He shared quite a bit about himself - oh, such a young kid with a lot of young kid... stuff, and I was quite ready to go when we got back to the parking lot.
That was my morning. I have really wanted something too-precise-to-be-random to happen again, outside of myself, out in this physical world, something I could not possibly have created or conjured. Random invitations to talk about love, and being fiercely, fiercely held on to - not a fair trade at all, but so very very nice. A bit weird to tell - I don't have a sense yet of what I want to share and don't, but these - tangible evidences of love touching down and being close - I like to hear them myself.