Monday, April 30, 2012

restraint

Just beginning week three
of the new job
Was already looking for escape by the second day
Last week
I screamed in the car all the way home
and seriously considered checking into kidney donation
as a source of income
rather than this
I could not hate it more and still be there

What is rather funny to me though
is the bizarre macabre nearly
delirious
feeling
while I'm there
realizing the restraint it takes
to not actually start laughing maniacally
pointing and laughing
cackling at how seriously people take things


Dutiful, though
I am trying to not be reactive
wondering if I can make it long enough
to rack up the money to buy a couple months of freedom
though that might be insanity,
not restraint.


.

6 comments:

  1. *
    +
    really loud music in the car on the way home.
    XX
    Amanda

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh dear. you did sound very restrained the other day. yesterday. day 2 of week 3.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I used to cry hysterically almost every day on the endless way to work at Redacted Restaurant last year. And think constantly about how I would never have that job If ...Things Were Different. This year I do the exact same drive except I turn left instead of right and it it a whole different scene. It's not good to hate work.
    Reading back that sounds smug but is meant empathetically, I swear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. redacted restaurant - that cracked me up. I currently work at redacted local dairy farm, making redacted cheese. It doesn't have the nice alliterative ring to it though.

      I took that as empathetic not smug, not to worry. It IS good to not hate work.

      Delete