Last night was bad. Awful. In the vicinity of exit strategy. Fortunately, instead of sounding like a good idea, the idea of needing an exit strategy just annoyed me. I'm also aware that the physical pain I have going on lately is making things worse, so I try to just ignore me sometimes. Anyway.
So, I woke up this morning thinking - what good does it do to tell me that godd (in whatever form) is walking with me? It's not like it's tangible. It's not like it's anything practical or useful. You can't prove it. The day was not starting out well.
I took boris for our walk. Along the way, I found a folded up, slightly damaged, 5 dollar bill. Nice. I stretched the symbol and thought, okay well, a random five dollar gift is maybe a nudge that the financial stuff will be okay. It's probably just a regular old dropped five dollar bill that has been under the winter leaves, but maybe it is also just a little love. Breathe. Tiny bit of space.
Rounded a corner, walking just a few steps, and there on the slope was a book. The title:
You'll Never Walk Alone: God is Always With You.
It's been over an hour now since I've been home. The book is sitting on the kitchen table. It's been a long time since something so concrete has arrived.