Sunday, September 19, 2010

open for suggestion

My birthday is coming up. I've already been older than matt for awhile, given that he died 3 months and 3 days before his 40th birthday, and I am 11 days from mine. Birthdays were rather quiet in our family. Matt did not like to be showered with gifts, or really have a big fuss made over him, or near him. He did allow me to make him cake, mostly because I really like to make cake. Elaborate, goofy, long-involved-process, cake. His favorite, from when he was a kid, is duncan hines cherry chip cake with cream cheese frosting from the can. He hadn't seen it in stores for years, and - knowing me so well - he told me that a from scratch, organic dried cherry bits cake with homemade cream cheese frosting was just not going to be It. I'd already been concocting that masterpiece from the first time he mentioned it. Foiled. Eventually, my mother tracked down a case of said cake mix (yes.) so he would never be without. There is still a bag of cupcakes in the freezer at my parents' house, and spare cans of frosting.

All of which is entirely not the point of this post.

Last year, in the two weeks between matt's and my birthdays, I sent myself on a crazy, grueling 15 mile, 4 summit hike, and a much slower 6 mile hike. A wee nuts, but I needed the woods. This year, between matt's and my birthdays, I am going to goat school, where I will be with around 100 other people learning how to trim hooves and give shots. I booked an extra night at the inn so I could take off on a good hike after being near all those people.

Also not the point of this post. Except that last year, there was no cake. I wasn't eating anyway, and in no way wanted to acknowledge my entrance into this world. And, making myself a cake, knowing matt and jake aren't here to eat it - not so much. I'm still not much for celebrating, but this year, I want some cake. My plan is to make cake, and share it with a friend and her three and one year old kids, because I like them, and they like cake. I may or may not point out that it is my birthday. Only, I really miss someone noticing, and caring to think what I might like. So. Though you all won't be here to eat said cake, I am inviting you to participate in my birthday, if you'd like, by making cake suggestions. If you have a favorite/preferred recipe, or a favorite cake to eat, or you had some awesome concoction at some restaurant, but you have no idea how to make it, leave me a note.


  1. First off, when is your birthday?

    Second, I love how you started each new train of thought with the acknowledgement that it "was not the point."

    I'm not the resident baker. That was Michael or my daughter, Arianne. But I love to eat cake. I would be very happy to virtually eat cake with you. Which ever cake you do bake, be sure to put a picture of it on your blog. We could then come by for our virtual piece of the cake.

    Do what feels right for you. I, too, was more like Matt, and didn't really go for birthday fuss, but Michael couldn't get enough of it. So, if you want celebration, then plan what will make you feel good. And, I say let your friend, and her kids, know of your birthday before sharing the cake with them. Give them the opportunity to wish you a happy birthday.

    Oh, and I just checked Facebook, and have made note of your birthdate.

    Have a good day Megan.

  2. I'll take some virtual cake too. I'm more a pie person, but cake would be nice -- whichever kind you choose. I agree with Dan - put up a photo of this cake so we can vicariously enjoy it! I'll have to check your FB profile for your birthdate!

  3. the actual date is hidden in a simple bit of post-mathing: posted on the 19th + "I am 11 days from mine" = 30.

  4. Now you got me thinking about cake all day. I think I'm going to run out and buy a cake for the boys and me.

  5. excellent! Cake all around. You could even consider it cake research, on my behalf.

  6. Hugs honey. and Happy Birthday.
    My 40th birthday was 30 days after G died. I cancelled my party (I haven't had a birthday party since I was 10 so we aren't big on fuss here either). BUT my friend organised a big birthday surprise for me at school. Many of my friend were there and it really did make me feel like I wasn't alone.
    ...and you won't be alone. On the 30th, I'll eat some cake and toast your birthday.

  7. thank you - I think the best part of that day will maybe be imagining all of my People Who Know eating cake, too.

    I have that 'don't want attention focused on me in person' feeling - you know, the people who love you trying very very hard to make a Good Day for you, and how that is often just worse.

  8. You started a blog! It's beautiful! I found it through RR's FB. Hope you don't mind. And I hope you also know in your heart that I love you. Always have, always will. Lisa