Sunday, December 4, 2011

unsayable absence

Listen, and feel the beauty of your separation,
the unsayable absence.
There is a moon inside every human being.
Learn to be companions with it.
Give more of your life to this listening.
As brightness is to time,
so you are to the one who talks
to the deep ear in your chest.
I should sell my tongue and buy a thousand ears
when that one steps near and begins to speak.


Rumi

~

And, from here  ...Or maybe I am looking for pieces of her? Or shards of myself? Those that flew away with such force that pieces might still be embedded in the walls, those that crumbled away gently to such a fine dust that they could never be reconstituted, those I ripped out with my fingernails and cast away with a shudder of revulsion. Look, there's the part of me that cared when your boyfriend dumped you. That small pile of fluff in the corner, there's my certainty that everything will, in the end, be ok. That small translucent snippet of cellophane, a discard from some piece of medical equipment, the part of me that looked around eagerly for help, turned to higher powers for assistance and aid.


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4 comments:

  1. these words pierce my heart today...so truthful, so blunt..thank you for sharing them-

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  2. "There's my certainty that everything will, in the end, be ok."

    God, losing that solidness, that certainty I always could fall back on, is one of the hardest parts of all this. How naive we were. That is what has changed me maybe most of all, as much than the huge hole he left behind when he had to go.

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  3. yes - loss of bedrock and foundation. And exactly what of the world am I supposed to stand on now?

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